Why listening is important

 Lets talking about the importance and the value of listening.

And why it’s especially important to take the time to listen to a person who stutters.

Photo by cottonbro

What is listening?

The basic definition of listening is to give your attention to a sound. Notice the word ‘attention’ and why its vital to recognize that listening to someone speak does not simply mean we are hearing someone speak but it also means that we should give our sole attention to them as they speak. In order for us to listen accurately, we need to make a mindful effort to not just hear what people are saying but to take it in, digest it and try and understand it.

How do we listen?

In order for you to be able to listen to someone properly, it is almost imperative that you have patience. We live in such a fast-paced world that patience seems to have fallen to the wayside for a lot of things. I believe that to truly be able to understand what someone is saying, patience is key. Especially when it comes to people who stutter. One of the key things that causes me anxiety as a person who stutters is the expectation is that we need to be able to speak fast in order to fit into society. This expectation can put a lot of pressure on people who stutter. Therefore, people who stutter can sometimes not feel listened to.

With patience also comes the ability to avoid planning a response in your head. And I have found that planning what your response is when someone is speaking, is very unhelpful when you are speaking with a person who stutters. This is because people who stutter can sometimes take a few seconds longer to say what we have to say and sometimes people finish our sentences. From my own personal experience, when someone finishes my sentence it makes me feel that getting to the end of the sentence is more important than listening to me say what I have to say.

How being listened to makes me feel

My own thoughts on the value of listening

I’ve recently started a new role in one of my places of work which involves using the phone. I’ve always viewed the phone as a challenge, something that I never thought I would be able to do. Mainly for fear of not being listened to. Since I’ve started using the phone for work, I’ve had various different reactions, including confused laughter, audible surprise and people talking over me. Fortunately, these types of negative reactions have been few and far between. Even still, they’re not very pleasant to experience.

However, since I have started in my new role, I have discovered one of my favourite feelings. It’s the feeling I get when the caller waits for me to finish what I’m saying, however long I take to say it. To me, personally, waiting for someone to finish what they are saying shows the upmost respect. From experience, when you listen carefully to what someone is saying, the person speaking feels truly heard and they feel that there is value in what they say. When I am listened to, I feel that what I say is important and not how I say it.

This is especially important in work. When I am listened to and treated just like any other fluent person, it encourages me to keep going and it reminds me that I am capable of doing my job. Since starting my new role, I have found that as long as the customer gets what they came looking for, it doesn’t matter how long it takes me to speak.

And that’s the value of listening.