A break down of my new job

Let me take you on a journey...

Photo by Josh Hild

03/03/2023 Two weeks until my job.

I've just received the contracts for my new job…it feels very real now! All of my feelings are jumbled up and to be totally honest with you, I don’t know how to feel. I was in total shock when I got the initial phone call and I was offered the position and then when I accepted the job offer, I was really excited. Finally, a full-time job, and in an organization that supports people with disabilities! It felt like a dream true. And obviously, I was sad that I was going to have to leave my other jobs and the friends I had met there.

But I guess, it feels a lot more solid now. Once, I sign these contracts, that’s it, I’m bound. I have to move on with my life and start a new adventure.

In relation to how I’m feeling about my stutter in relation to all of this…you know what? I actually feel okay! I feel like I’m going to be okay! When I did the job interview, I mentioned that I had a stutter and they seemed to pay no heed to it, so why should I? Let’s see how I feel in a week’s time!

13/03/2023 One week until my job

Today I did a practice run over to the office where I will be working and to see the building.  It was kind of like I gave myself a moment to process that I would actually be starting a new job, in a new place, with new people. I gave myself a moment to look at the building, without needing to enter it and to remind myself how far I’ve come since I left school, without a hope of knowing where I would end up. Looking at the building gave my younger self a sense of peace, which she didn’t often feel.

I guess I’m getting a little worried about my speech now, in terms of introducing myself, because saying my name is still really hard for me! I’m prepared that the first few introductions to be hard but I hope that as I get into the practice of introducing myself, it’ll get easier and I’ll get more confident, which always happens. I just feel a little out of practice!

17/03/2023 Three days until my new job

I have now officially finished with my other jobs and I’m in this weird limbo land of not having any job for the next three days. However, I am starting to think (and worry) about how my first week is going to go and how my stutter will present itself. It’s in these moments that I wish I didn’t stutter.

I know that, deep down, everything will be okay, I’ve had challenges in the past, such as training for a Box Office Role, where I had to answer phones, and I’ve gotten through them. If I can just look at this new job as my next challenge, I think it’ll be easier to deal with. My plan is to enjoy the feeling of being nervous and to use that to my advantage. I’ll be given the opportunity to make a new first impression and while I can’t change my stutter, I can change how I view it.

‘Yes I stutter but I am capable of doing everything in this job.’

In my new office. 

21/03/2023 One day on the job

I think it’s moments like this when I realize how far I’ve come in terms of my speech and how much I have control over what I say and how I say it.

I had my first day in the office yesterday, where I met various different people and I did some training with my line manager. No one batted an eyelid as I stuttered through my words, sometimes in large blocks and harsh repetitions, other times in soft and fluid stuttering. My stuttering did not stop the conversation and it did not stop me from talking. And one thing is for sure, it did not stop me from doing my job.

‘Yes, I can do this job and yes I also stutter.’

25/03/2023 One week on the job

I have just finished the first week of my new job!

Everyone I have met has been lovely and they have all waited for me when I stutter on my words. No one bats an eyelid when I do stutter and I feel like I can take my time and not rush what I have to say. In turn, this makes me stutter less.

As part of my new role, I need to answer the phone and I have answered the phone a total of five times this week and while I did stutter on the phone, I was able to provide a good service to everyone I spoke to.

I also introduced myself a bunch of times and because of that, I am starting to become desensitized to stuttering on my name. In the same regard, I talked (and stuttered) in front of my group of people in the canteen and again everyone gave me the time I needed.

Overall, I’ve had a really positive first week.

While the job itself is challenging as it’s a brand new job and I’m still learning the ropes of how to do my job, I am not letting my stutter get in the way of succeeding in my new job.

I know, and expect, that there will be moments where I will struggle with my speech and when I just want the ground to swallow me whole because I am having a really harsh block. I think it would be silly of me not to expect to have moments like that. However, I also know that I will get through them and nothing terrible is going to happen because of these moments. 

Working from home.

31/03/2023 Two weeks into my new job

Well, as I said a week ago, there are going to be moments where I’m going to stutter a lot and struggle getting my words out and I definitely a couple of those moments this week. Over the phone and in person, introducing myself and meeting new people. And yes, they were challenging! And yes, I really didn’t enjoy them! But I got through them, and the conversation continued on.

I think one thing, among another things, I like about my new job is that because it is an organization that works closely with people with disabilities, everyone who works there has a little more empathy and are a little more patient than other places I’ve worked at. It’s almost as if I’m not scared to stutter which is a really refreshing feeling to experience.

I think I’m going to end this blog post here because it is a long one and I don’t want to bore you!

I hope you enjoyed reading about my experience getting a new job.