A debate; Are people who stutter brave?

'Being brave isn’t the absence of fear. Being brave is having that fear but finding a way through it' - Bear Grylls

I've been thinking a lot about what bravery means to me as a person who stutters and if I am brave for simply being a person who stutters.

I know there is a lot of discrepancies within the stuttering community about the idea of us being inspiring just because we stutter. I’m aware that there are people in the stuttering community that do not like to be labelled as inspiring or brave or even a hero. It almost feels like we're perceived as weak for having  a stutter and when we decide to speak up we are defying this weakness and we are brave for doing so. 

I understand these discrepancies. 

Photo by Liza Summer

As a person who stutters, I also do not like to be labelled as an inspiration simply because I order my morning coffee and I stutter. This sometimes makes me feel inadequate and I am beating this incredible feat because it takes me a little bit longer to say what I want to say.

 It can get annoying.

Especially when you don’t feel brave when you order your coffee. Instead, you feel tired and worn down because all you wanted to say was ‘Can I have an oat milk latte please?’ but you ended up saying ‘Can I h-h-h-h-have a___________n oooooooat milk la-la-la-latte please?’ and there is massive que behind you, all waiting for you to get your order out, looking at their watches. I certainly do not feel brave when this happens, in fact, sometimes I feel ashamed.

However, to be totally transparent, there are moments in my day or my week, when I do feel brave. When I answer the phone at work, I feel brave because I know I'm going to stutter, and that scares me.  When I introduce myself to someone new, I feel brave because I never know how they will respond, and that can be scary When I answer a colleague's question, I feel brave because I don't want to be laughed at for being incorrect, and that's scary.

Photo by Bruno Braghini

People who stutter, in my opinion, are brave, not because they continue to talk despite their stutter but rather because they speak up in a society that may not always accept them. The stigma associated with stuttering is something that people who stutter often find extremely difficult to overcome, and the bravery that accompanies their stuttering stems from their fear of not being accepted in their community. 

I also want to argue that even people who don't stutter, also struggle to speak up and again, I think that this comes from a fear of being judged. People do not want to break the status quo and express an opinion that is different. Being different is hard. Being different is brave. 

Ultimately, as a person who stutters, when we decide to speak regardless of how we will sound and what we might say, we are deciding that our voices are worth hearing and that is where the bravery comes from.