3 things from 2023 - A reflection.

"Don't wait your turn. Bet on yourself and have the confidence to stand up and say, 'My time is now'" - Robert F. Smith

The longer I sat with myself and the more I thought about my stutter and how I have been feeling about my stutter this last year, the more I realized that my stutter did not have a big part to play in 2023. 

Yes, I had my days and weeks where my stutter was the main character in the movie of my 2023 but on the whole, this year my stutter was just a side character, appearing every so often to remind me that it was still there. 

Its funny, and be it a little sad, to look back at the years when my stutter dominated my life and the choices I made, like when I was a teenager in school or when I first started college. 

Now, as I am older I can see that I was, for want of a better phrase, a shell of myself. 

Here are three things that I have reflected on this past year and why I do not feel like a shell of myself.

My New Job -

One of the big things that happened in 2023 was that I got a new job. Despite what my stutter had led me to believe when I was younger, I proved myself capable of securing a full time job with an organization that works in a sector that I am hugely passionate about. I used my stutter to my advantage in my interview and I know that I have been succeeding in my role within the organization. As part of my role, I need to answer the phone and make phone calls, something which has always terrified me. I still find this to be one of the most challenging parts of the job but I persevere everyday and I have even learnt to enjoy pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I think it’s safe to say, in terms of my work life, that younger me would be proud of 2023 me.

Turning 25 - 

Another thing that happened to me this year was that I turned 25. It’s true what they say that when you turn 25 everything just seems to click into place and you discover that life is so much bigger than the little things. (I’m not sure what the science is behind this, I am just going off the many conversations I have had with my 25 year old friends.) It has felt as that as soon as I turned 25, I did not need to focus on my stutter so much but I could focus on the bigger picture of my life. I think that maybe because I lived the guts of the past quarter of a century fearing my stutter and fearing the world’s perception of me because of my stutter, I decided that in 2023 I did not need to be afraid anymore and maybe turning 25 had something to do with that. 

Community -

This year has also been another year of community and advocacy. I have loved watching the stuttering community continue to flourish and I’ve been so honoured to be a small part of the that. From keeping in touch with the Irish Stammering Association and attending their International Stuttering Awareness Day, to seeing my name in Issue two of Dysfluent, I am always in awe of the stuttering community. 

There is one particular organization that I would love to mention and that is S.P.A.C.E which launched this year.

S.P.A.C.E in their own words is a ‘non profit organization working to create more space for stuttering and change the way the world listens.’ It has been such an honour to be a part of this organization from the start and I have loved watching it bloom. Check out their website for more information. 

Well, there you have it, 2023! 

I guess you could say this year I found out who I could be with a stutter rather than who I couldn’t be because of my stutter.