Pride 2024 - What being queer and having a stutter means to me

 

My identity as a bisexual woman who stutters has always been important to me. But it also comes with challenges. 

Such as not being taken seriously.

Being a woman in general comes with a lot of prejudices, being a woman who stutters comes with a lot of anxiety and being a bisexual woman who stutters. sometimes , feels like a whole other ball game. 

As Nina G said; 'Women are socialised to make ourselves small and when you stutter you get extra small.' 

This was me back in 2018 after I attended my first ever pride event.

The fact is that four times more men than women will stutter. This automatically puts women who stutter in the minority, which means we are the minority within a minority. This can feel quite isolating. And while there are so many empowering women who stutte out there, take Emily Blunt or Pam Mertz for examples, being a woman who stutters is challenging. I relish in my identity as a woman who stutters but it also makes me anxious being a woman who stutters. Mainly because sometimes I am not taken seriously as my male counterpart, regardless of if they stutter or not. 

On the other hand the label bisexual does not hold a deep meaning to me, I am attracted to both men and women and that is basically the end of it. I’m proud to be bisexual and I enjoy being bisexual but I see the word itself as an adjective. It’s a label I use but it is not a label I use to identify myself with. I don’t go around introducing myself as a bisexual. And even though I am in a relationship with a man, I still call myself bisexual. Just because I’m currently dating a man, does not mean I’m straight. I have dated women before and I have loved women before. And that’s what makes me bisexual. 

I think being a woman who stutters and being a woman who is bisexual are two different things. But I guess one thing that stuttering and being bisexual have in common is that I can hide both. I can pretend to be fluent and I can pretend to be straight. I can act straight around people who I feel won’t accept my sexuality and I can choose my words carefully in order to not stutter.

But what is the point in that? 

For me, to speak is to stutter and I need to speak so I guess I’ll also stutter. For me, celebrating who I am is celebrating and being proud that I like both men and women. 

     2024 Pride!

So I am proud to be a bisexual woman who stutters. 

And whatever you are and however you identify, I hope you are proud too!