Pride 2024 - What being queer and having a stutter means to me
My identity as a bisexual woman who stutters has always been important to me. But it also comes with challenges.
Such as not being taken seriously.
Being a woman in general comes with a lot of prejudices, being a woman who stutters comes with a lot of anxiety and being a bisexual woman who stutters. sometimes , feels like a whole other ball game.
As Nina G said; 'Women are socialised to make ourselves small and when you stutter you get extra small.'
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This was me back in 2018 after I attended my first ever pride event. |
The fact is that four times more men than women will stutter. This automatically puts women who stutter in the minority, which means we are the minority within a minority. This can feel quite isolating. And while there are so many empowering women who stutte out there, take Emily Blunt or Pam Mertz for examples, being a woman who stutters is challenging. I relish in my identity as a woman who stutters but it also makes me anxious being a woman who stutters. Mainly because sometimes I am not taken seriously as my male counterpart, regardless of if they stutter or not.
On the other hand the label bisexual does not hold a deep meaning to me, I am attracted to both men and women and that is basically the end of it. I’m proud to be bisexual and I enjoy being bisexual but I see the word itself as an adjective. It’s a label I use but it is not a label I use to identify myself with. I don’t go around introducing myself as a bisexual. And even though I am in a relationship with a man, I still call myself bisexual. Just because I’m currently dating a man, does not mean I’m straight. I have dated women before and I have loved women before. And that’s what makes me bisexual.
I think being a woman who stutters and being a woman who is bisexual are two different things. But I guess one thing that stuttering and being bisexual have in common is that I can hide both. I can pretend to be fluent and I can pretend to be straight. I can act straight around people who I feel won’t accept my sexuality and I can choose my words carefully in order to not stutter.
But what is the point in that?
For me, to speak is to stutter and I need to speak so I guess I’ll also stutter. For me, celebrating who I am is celebrating and being proud that I like both men and women.
2024 Pride!So I am proud to be a bisexual woman who stutters.
And whatever you are and however you identify, I hope you are proud too!
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