Hi-ho Hi-ho its back to work I go

 

I'm back at work (finally!) and I was obviously nervous to enter back into the working world…for a number of reasons.

I haven't worked in just over a year, which is strange in itself. So of course I'd be feeling a bit anxious about going back to work, even to a job that I know so well, and to people I haven’t seen in a long time. I was nervous that I wouldn't remember how to do anything, and that I would be terrible at training new staff. Basically, I had a lot of expectations of myself. And because of how much I respect and admire my manager, I wanted to put my best foot forward for myself as well as for her.

A bag of nerves;

I was nervous of how I would cope with my stutter in a new situation. I was nervous that because of the pandemic I would struggle with getting back into the swing of speaking with customers, introducing myself and working with people I've never met before. I think it's safe to say that for the majority of people who stutter the pandemic has had some type of effect on their speech and on their experience with the world around them, mainly because for the best part of two years, which is a really long time, they're so used to just talking the people they live with and their close friends.

As I always say and will probably continue to say that because of my stuttter introducing myself is one of the most difficult things for me to do. I even have moments of envy when my fluent friends can introduce themselves with ease. However, I also understand that their fluency is not their fault, and my stutter is not my fault.

I think that was one of the things that I was most nervous about; introducing myself to the new staff. That, and also speaking with customers. But I suppose one thing that helped me get through the days leading up to my first day back was knowing that I had already introduced myself and spoken to customers in this job before, so I knew I could do it again no matter how much time had passed.

Me, in my work shirt

...And why was I nervous again??

And as per usual, I didn't have anything to be worried or stressed about. I actually didn't have to introduce myself to someone until my last shift of the week because up until that point my manager was the one to introduce us all. This was both a blessing and a curse because I wanted to challenge myself, but I also didn't want to give the new staff a negative impression of me because I couldn't say my name the way they could. And even when I introduced myself to one of the girls, she paid no head to my stutter. 

And in relation to speaking with customers, it was like I'd never left the job. it took me all of 10 minutes to get back into the swing of things and for that I'm truly grateful to myself for just ploughing ahead with what was expected of me. I was the one to pluck up the courage to go back into work and that’s pretty awesome!

My message for you; 

So, what's the point of this blog post? It's to remind you, the reader, that it's OK to feel whatever way you're feeling about going back to work, or school, or starting a new job or starting college. Your feelings are there for a reason and you should honor them. And that regardless of if you don’t speak up, or if someone unintentionally speaks up for you, you are still the person who enters that workplace, school, college, whatever it may be, and that’s something to be so proud of yourself for!